03 November 2010

Dearest First Born,

I have a few things that I'd like to share with you.  You are our first born child and with that comes a huge responsibility. While you are not yet departed from my womb, you have already impacted your dad and me in such a way that you will only understand when you have your first born. Can you handle it!

You're responsible for making us two of the happiest people on the planet and we haven't even had the chance to hold you or even see your face. That is HUGE! Unfathomable, even! You are also responsible for causing our hearts to explode with a love that we never quite understood until we saw that little tiny window of the pregnancy test that said "positive". Don't worry, there aren't any negative consequences to these things; that responsibility comes with the consequence that we will always feel overjoyed and an abundance of unconditional love for you, however long we get to have you on this planet.

Now, with all that being said, I have a few things that I'd like to promise you, once you hit our atmosphere:

1. No matter what, your daddy and I will love you unconditionally until the end of time.  As you grow older, you will learn that unconditional love does NOT mean that: a. we will let you eat ice cream for breakfast (except on the rare occasion that you catch me doing it), b. we will never discipline you for your actions, and c. it certainly doesn't mean that we will hand you everything your heart desires.

2. We will teach you all about what it means to be a responsible, productive member of society. You will have everything that you absolutely need, a few things that you don't, and you will never have everything you want. We love you and that's why we'd ever consider doing this to you. Again, it's a difficult concept to grasp, but you will one day.

3. Life is not fair. It's even less fair with siblings. We pray that we can give you siblings. I realize that means that we're helping to cause life to be "not fair". But in this world, nothing is ever fair. There is one man who knows this better than the rest. Jesus Christ laid down his sinless life for you, me, your daddy, and every single person in this world so that we could have a relationship with God. We will teach you all about Him, his Father, and the Holy Spirit all in due time.

4. You will fall down, you will have your heart broken, and you will fail. No matter how much it will pain my heart to let these things happen to you, I will let them happen to you. I will also let you learn how to stand back up, dust yourself off, and grow into a stronger person because you will learn that you do have the strength to carry on. Let it be known that I will want to fix it for you each and every time, but if I were to do that, I wouldn't be loving you to the fullest capacity I possibly can.

5. Your ENTIRE family is "quirky". I am probably the "quirkiest" of us all. Sometimes, you may interpret these "quirks" into "craziness" and that's okay. I can also admit that I am slightly "crazy". Some of your family members have quirks that you will come to love, others... not so much. But even through all of our craziness and quirkiness, we love you dearly and that won't change.

There are so many other things that I could promise you... but most of those things you will learn as you grow with us. I have loved you from the day we found out about you, and I will continue loving you for eternity.

Love,

Your Momma

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