03 November 2010

Due Date... Any End In Sight?

Wow. Today I have officially reached 40 weeks gestation! What a crazy thought! I have a few other thoughts that I just could not contain... Therefore I will share them with you. Lucky!

It's hard for me to believe that on March 2, 2010 we got a big fat positive on a home pregnancy test. We tried for a LONG time before getting that (2 years!). Before we were pregnant, but still trying, I could never imagine what pregnancy would be like. My finite brain just didn't have the capacity to dream about how my body would change, how my hormones would effect my emotions, what the baby would feel like when it kicked! It was all just so impossible for me to see in my mind's eye.

Now that I have been pregnant for 40 weeks, I'm having the same trouble. I can't imagine what life is going to be like with a mini-me or mini-Jarred in our lives! As hard as I try, I can't see myself in labor, at the hospital, screaming for my epidural and then pushing this child out. I also can't comprehend what it will feel like to no longer have this little person dancing in my belly!

I have only just reached that stage of pregnancy that most women call "uncomfortable". I've been greatly blessed with many pregnancy symptoms, but have only just now, at the very end of the marathon felt slightly less than great. I suppose it's all the extra hormones my body's producing for labor and the lack of space for the child in my very short torso.

A few weeks ago, one of the ladies at church asked me if I was ready for it to be over... This befuddled me. I had a very rough first 19 weeks with morning sickness/giving back everything I ate like clockwork, but once all that had passed, I felt much better. I never truly got the 2nd trimester "energy surge" but I no longer felt the need to give it all back! Braxton Hicks contractions started at 20 weeks, but I fully expected those to happen. They weren't fun, in fact they were pretty uncomfortable for me, but it was all just a part of the process.

I have literally just taken this pregnancy one day at a time. I don't think any other way would have worked for me. I still can't imagine not being pregnant because I can't see past supper tonight. I could very well go into labor at some point today, tomorrow, with in the next week... but I can't see any of that! Perhaps that's why I never really reached the uncomfortable stage until now. I have always known there was an end to this stage, but I guess I just never really dreamed about the day it would all be over. Perhaps a curse, most certainly a blessing!

I think that's how I'll approach motherhood too. Just taking it one day at a time. Of course that's an easy task to accomplish when you only have one, who is not yet involved in school or extra curricular activities, and are going to be a stay-at-home-mom. I'll know that there will always be an end to the day/night and that a new dawn "should" bring a new perspective. Granted, I've never been a mom before. So more than likely this little strategy of mine will fly right out the window after the first week of sleepless nights and only grabbing 2 hours of rest at a time...give or take!

But for now, I'm going to be flexible. This baby is due today. I don't expect it to come. My gut has been telling me Saturday, November 6th since back in April. I'm not really sure why, other than at our first ultrasound my gestational age was dead on with a November 3rd due date, but the baby measured 3 days smaller. Who knows, I may be proven completely wrong within the next 18 and a half hours!

Ok, it's time to feed the belly.

Lindsey

1 comment:

  1. I have been so impressed with your good attitude through your pregnancy! Even during your intense sickness times, it was obvious that God had given you the joy of motherhood. Funny thing - it wasn't until we scheduled our c-section that I started really feeling achy, tired, huge, etc. I guess the finality of it finally caught up with me! Well, if you only have to make it the rest of the day or another two weeks, you'll make it! And once you hold your bundle of joy, every discomfort will be forgotten! Love you!

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